Oh My JOHN!

I can still remember the first day I met him. It was my first day at work. I was being routed and introduced by my officemate to the whole team. Some looked geeky, perky and funny. Some just looked plain and makakalimutan mo kagad ang name. Nobody caught my eye. Sabi ko, walang cute. And then…My officemate introduced me to John.

Let’s call him John (off course, not his real name). He’s as tall as I am (How tall am I? Read my Welcome post), fair complexion, smooth skin, pointed nose, not so good body built, lame looking, bad posture… And his face value? Above average. In the range of 1 to 10, 10 as the highest, John is 5.75 for me.

Natuwa ako nung pinakilala sakin si John. “Good thing may kabeki ako dito”, I told myself. But NO! My gaydar malfunctioned! Si John na akala ko ay beki ay isa pa lang BEKIPHOBIC!

John the Bekiphobic

John became one of my friends in the office. We throw jokes, fool around, talk about nasty things and all. He’s a good guy. The only problem with him is that he’s bekiphobic. He tends to stereotype gays. According to his stories, lapitin sya ng mga bading. Hmmm, maybe he’s not my type kaya di ako na-attract sa kanya. Minsan pag nagkukwento sya ng mga gay encounters nya, grabe sya makapanlait.

“Ang kapal ng mukha na hawakan ako. Sapakin ko pa sya makita nya!”
“May nagtetext sa akin na bakla, sabi ko di ako nakikipagkaibigan sa bakla!’

Marami pa syang mga ganyang lines na kinakalimutan ko na lang. Iniisip ko na lang, makitid utak nya or namolestya sya nung bata sya. Minsan nga gusto ko ng sabihin sa kanya na:

“Hoy John, di ka naman ka-gwapuhan, kung maka panlait ka!”

Just today, John the Bekiphobic striked again. While we were discussing something, our gay officemate, Jefferson (di tunay na pangalan), which he’s not close to, came and approached us. He asked John’s help for a project and put his hand on John’s shoulder (which I suppose is normal naman). I was surprised with John’s facial expression. Parang nanlaki ang mata nya at parang nabuwisit dahil sa paghawak sa kanya ni Jefferson. He didn’t say anything. And when he’s about to look at Jefferson with his angry face, I just told Jefferson that I already arranged things for his project, so he could leave us na. I think that John thought that Jefferson was taking advantage of the situation para maka chancing (tyansing). That’s why he reacted that way. Poor Jefferson. Iku-kwento na naman sya na nagtsa-chancing.

Looking at John the Bekiphobic, I came up with some conclusions.

Bekiphobics should join Eat Bulaga’s Mr. Feeling Pogi. Jeez! I look a lot, lot better than John. Kung OUT lang ako sa office ito ang sasabihin ko kay John:

“John, isipin mo na lang kung naging straight kaming mga bakla, saan kayo pupulutin? Ako, kaya kong mag-asawa at magkaroon ng masayang pamilya. Ikaw kaya mo bang maging gwapo?”**
**Joke lang tong part na to. :D

Bekiphobics are the next generation of Bekis! My straight officemate told me that John is too homophobic. And he just said, “Di yata sya sure sa gender nya”. Well, I hope he’s right. And if that time comes, I will have him crowned in Puerto Galera. Ahahaha.

For sure, you’ll be hearing more of John the Beckiphobics “adventures” here in Bekified. Para itong teleserye na susubaybayan nyo. :D

Abangan!